Frankenfeelings: When Your Emotions Don’t Match the Moment

Ever find yourself tearing up over a dog food commercial but feeling absolutely nothing at your cousin’s wedding? Welcome to the club of Frankenfeelings — a place where your emotions seem stitched together from random parts, powered by lightning, and occasionally stomp around your brain in confusion.

Here is the thing: feeling “off” emotionally doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re human.

Meet Your Inner Dr. Frankenstein

Your brain is constantly mixing ingredients from your past, your present, your hormones, and that thing someone said to you in ninth grade. The result? Sometimes it builds a feeling that doesn’t quite match the moment you’re in.

Crying over a random commercial? Maybe it poked a soft spot you did not realize was tender. Feeling flat at a big life event? Your nervous system might still be buffering from earlier stress.

Emotions are not logic-based; they are survival-based. Your brain does not always send the right creature to the right scene — sometimes the wrong monster walks in.

Emotional Plot Twists Happen

Here are a few common Frankenfeelings moments I see all the time:

• Delayed reaction: You hold it together during the crisis, then fall apart in line at Target three days later.

• Emotional swap: You get angry instead of sad, or laugh when you want to cry. (A+ coping skill, by the way — thank your nervous system for the weird assist.)

• Emotional ghosting: You want to feel something but… crickets. The emotions RSVP’d “no” this time.

None of these mean you’re cold, dramatic, or unfeeling. They mean your system is trying to protect you — just not always gracefully.

So, What Do You Do With Frankenfeelings?

1. Notice them without judgment. “Crap, I’m crying at paper towels again” is a healthier response than “What’s wrong with me?” Curiosity beats criticism every time.

2. Name the mismatch. Try: “I’m having a big feeling in a small moment” or “I’m having no feeling in a big one.”Language helps your brain file the experience instead of panicking about it.

3. Trace the wires. Ask, “What does this remind me of?” or “When else have I felt like this?” Sometimes, the real feeling is about something else entirely — your brain just grabbed whatever outlet was nearby.

4. Give your nervous system a reboot. Go outside. Move your body. Sip some water. Turn off the emotional power surge and let your system reset.

5. Get support if it keeps happening. If mismatched emotions stick around or start running the show, that’s a sign it might help to unpack them in therapy. (Preferably somewhere you can laugh about it — because humor counts as healing, too.)

You are Not a Monster — You are a Masterpiece in Progress

Your feelings do not always need to “make sense” to be valid. They just need space to exist.

So next time you find yourself misty-eyed over a commercial or numb at a moment that’s supposed to feel big, take a breath. Your emotions might be walking in on the wrong scene — but they still belong in the story.

And, if anyone asks, tell them you are just embracing your Frankenfeelings era. Lightning bolts optional. ⚡